So, what happened?

Well, I didn’t go vegan.

Now I eat a lot of vegan meals, I think about the suffering caused by my diet and food consumption a lot.  I feel anxious about it.  Sometimes, however, I still eat animals, or the things only animals are meant to eat.  I don’t feel good about doing this and I don’t know why I’ve not managed to make a complete transition, but trying to change this much has opened a real psychological can of worms: all the hurting, unhealed places inside me.  Maybe I just don’t want it enough.  Maybe I don’t care enough.  I don’t know.

What I do know is my relationship with food is far from straightforward, and it’s a reflection of my relationship with myself and the world generally.

I guess a vegan would say that if I could have stuck at it for long enough I would have reached a place where I could have felt more healed.  Maybe one day I’ll make it there.